People living under emotional control and gaslighting experience trauma not once, but daily.

Each time you were made to question your memory, apologize for their behavior, or minimize your pain, it sent the message that your feelings didn’t matter. Over time, this repeated invalidation breaks down your inner world.
You may notice symptoms like:

• Feeling numb, anxious, or constantly on edge
• Difficulty trusting your own perceptions
• Fear of making decisions or upsetting others
• Shame, guilt, or confusion about what really happened
• A deep sense of loss for who you used to be

These are not weaknesses. They are the echoes of chronic emotional harm.

The Psychological and Spiritual Toll.
Complex trauma affects the brain and nervous system—keeping you in a cycle of fear and self-doubt. Spiritually, it can make you question even God’s goodness or your worth in His eyes.

But the truth is this: the abuse was never your fault. The Lord sees every wound, every tear, and every hidden scar. He is not distant from your pain—He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

The Path of Healing.
Healing from complex trauma is a process of both renewing your mind and restoring your spirit:

• Recognize the truth: What happened to you was wrong. God calls evil what it is (Isaiah 5:20).
• Rebuild your safety: Healthy boundaries and safe people are part of God’s design for healing.
• Renew your identity: Your worth is not defined by what someone did to you—it’s defined by what Christ did for you.
• Restore connection: The Holy Spirit is your Comforter, Counselor, and Healer. Invite Him into the places that still ache.

“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” — John 8:32

Reflection Question:
Where in your heart have you believed lies about your worth or identity?
Ask the Lord to replace those lies with His truth today.

🙏 Prayer

Lord Jesus, You are the Balm of Gilead. Heal the wounds that were never seen, the fears that were never spoken, and the hearts that were never believed. Restore truth where lies have lived, peace where chaos reigned, and joy where sorrow took root. Remind us who we are in You—whole, loved, and free. Amen.

If you’re struggling to process emotional pain or past trauma, you don’t have to walk through it alone.

At The Balm of Gilead, our Christ-centered counselors are here to help you uncover the roots of your pain and find healing and freedom in Christ. Link below for more information.

​Christ Centered Counseling - THE BALM OF GILEAD MINISTRIES

Habitual patterns of abusive behavior rarely change unless there is significant intervention, professional guidance, or both. Sometimes, though, a husband does become so convicted of his self-centered ways that he allows the Lord to give him a new heart, new desires, and the power to change. If your husband promises he has changed, you need wisdom to discern if the change is only temporary and manipulative … or if he is truly taking personal responsibility for his abusive behavior.

“Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse.” (Proverbs 2:12)

Ask yourself these questions:
—  Do I no longer have a sense of fear when I am with him?
—  Has he learned to control his anger without being verbally or emotionally abusive?
__ Is he continuing in a pattern of manipulation?
—  Does he respect my right to disagree?
—  Is he able to express his feelings of anger in a calm, nonthreatening way?
—  Does he communicate feelings other than anger?
—  Does he no longer blame me for his problems?
—  Do I feel I am being treated with respect?
—  Does he show consistent kindness and consideration toward me?

“Husbands … be considerate as you live with your wives and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life.” (1 Peter 3:7)
 
There is a world of difference between professing love and actually practicing it. Words alone will never tell you what a person is like. Jesus tells us someone’s history and current actions show you what they are like.

The Tree and Its Fruit 
“Beware of false prophets who come disguised as harmless sheep but are really vicious wolves. You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit. A good tree can’t produce bad fruit, and a bad tree can’t produce good fruit. So every tree that does not produce good fruit is chopped down and thrown into the fire. Yes, just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”  Mathew 7:15-20