Sometimes the hardest part of healing is realizing we can’t fix other people, not even the ones we love most.

You may never get the version of your parent, spouse, or friend you longed for. But Jesus can fill every place they could not. He alone heals the ache of unmet needs.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.”
— Philippians 4:19

When we surrender control, forgive what we cannot change, and allow God to meet our deepest longings, peace begins to take root.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”
— 1 Peter 5:7

You are not powerless.

You are loved, chosen, and secure in Christ, no matter what others do or don’t give you.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”
— 1 John 3:1

There is freedom in acceptance. There is healing in surrender.
Let God write a new chapter in your story.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18
​
If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, we’ll walk with you. Visit thebalmofgilead.co or click the link in our bio to connect with a counselor today.

Sometimes the hardest part of healing is realizing we can’t fix other people, not even the ones we love most.

You may never get the version of your parent, spouse, or friend you longed for. But Jesus can fill every place they could not. He alone heals the ache of unmet needs.

“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus.”
— Philippians 4:19

When we surrender control, forgive what we cannot change, and allow God to meet our deepest longings, peace begins to take root.
“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.”
— 1 Peter 5:7

You are not powerless.

You are loved, chosen, and secure in Christ, no matter what others do or don’t give you.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!”
— 1 John 3:1

There is freedom in acceptance. There is healing in surrender.
Let God write a new chapter in your story.

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
— Psalm 34:18
​
If you’re ready to begin your healing journey, we’ll walk with you. Visit thebalmofgilead.co or click the link in our bio to connect with a counselor today.

​“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” – Psalm 9:9

Some relationships leave us confused, exhausted, and emotionally drained. Yet despite the pain, we struggle to walk away. Something invisible but powerful keeps pulling us back—even when we know it’s harmful.
This invisible chain has a name: trauma bonding.
What Is a Trauma Bond?
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A trauma bond forms in relationships where abuse and affection are intertwined, often in a repeating cycle. It happens when someone hurts you, then showers you with kindness, apologies, or attention—just enough to make you question what’s really happening.

​You begin to think:

• “Maybe it’s my fault.”
• “They’re not always like this.”
• “I just need to be more patient or understanding.”

The truth is, these highs and lows create confusion. The brain interprets this emotional rollercoaster as connection. Instead of safety and security, your nervous system becomes addicted to the chaos. The love you long for becomes entangled with fear, guilt, and hope for change.

Signs You Might Be Trauma-BondedYou may be in a trauma bond if:

• You feel loyal to someone who repeatedly hurts you.
• You justify or minimize their harmful behavior.
• You isolate from loved ones to protect the relationship.
• You constantly hope things will go back to how they were in the beginning.
• You feel stuck, dependent, or powerless to leave.This bond is not rooted in true love—it’s rooted in survival, fear, and unmet emotional needs.

The Cycle of Abuse: Trauma bonds often develop in cycles:

1. Tension builds – Walking on eggshells, fearing a blow-up.
2. Abuse occurs – Verbal, emotional, physical, or spiritual harm.
3. Reconciliation – Apologies, affection, “I’ll never do it again.”
4. Honeymoon phase – Things feel better… until the cycle begins again.

This cycle can feel like love—but it’s not. Real love doesn’t come with emotional whiplash.

Why It’s So Hard to Leave. People often ask, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” But the answer isn’t simple. Trauma bonds create deep emotional confusion and even chemical attachment in the brain—especially when mixed with past childhood wounds or abandonment trauma.

You may feel:

• Afraid of being alone
• Unworthy of healthy love
• Responsible for the other person’s behavior
• Ashamed or embarrassed to reach out for help

But friend, God never designed love to hurt like this. His heart is for you to walk in truth, safety, and freedom—not bondage.

A Biblical Lens on Trauma BondsTrauma bonding counterfeits what God designed. It mimics intimacy but lacks the fruit of the Spirit: gentleness, peace, self-control, kindness.

The Bible says:

“Love does no harm to a neighbor.” – Romans 13:10

“For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest.” – Luke 8:17

“Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.” – 2 Corinthians 3:17

God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33). If a relationship is full of fear, anxiety, and manipulation, it’s not love—it’s bondage. And Jesus came to set the captives free (Luke 4:18).

Healing Begins With TruthThe first step to healing from a trauma bond is to name it. The enemy thrives in secrecy, but freedom begins when we walk in the light.

If this blog resonates with you, you’re not alone. You are not crazy, overly sensitive, or weak. You’re likely trauma-bonded. And there is hope for healing.
You don’t have to stay stuck in toxic cycles. God has better for you.

A Prayer for the Brokenhearted“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

Lord, I lift up every woman and man reading this who feels trapped in a painful relationship. I pray you would open their eyes to see truth and give them strength to walk toward healing. Break the chains of fear, shame, and confusion. Speak love and courage over their hearts. Show them they are deeply worthy of real, Christ-centered love. Amen.

🕊️ Need help breaking free?

We offer trauma-informed, Christ-centered counseling through The Balm of Gilead Ministries. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Reach out. We’re here to walk with you.

📩 Visit: www.thebalmofgilead.co
📱 Follow us on Instagram: @thebalmofgilead
📖 More blog posts: [Rooted Hope Blog]

When we hear the word “abuse,” most of us picture physical harm. But according to Christian counselor June Hunt, abuse is broader, it’s any pattern of behavior designed to control, demean, or dominate a spouse.

Sadly, this can happen even in Christian homes. Abuse can wear many faces:

Verbal & Emotional – cutting words, constant criticism, manipulation, silent treatment, threats.

Financial – controlling all money, hiding resources, denying access to necessities.

Spiritual – misusing Scripture or spiritual authority to control, shame, or silence.

Sexual – coercion, disrespecting boundaries, demanding intimacy without care or consent.

Physical – hitting, shoving, throwing things, using intimidation or force.

Abuse is not love. True, Christlike love “protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13). Abuse seeks to tear down and control - love builds up and protects.

Friend, if this describes your marriage, please hear this: you are not invisible to God. He sees your pain. He calls abuse what it is - wrong. He is a refuge for the oppressed (Psalm 9:9) and will make a way of escape.

You do not have to stay silent. Healing and hope are possible.

“The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” – Psalm 9:9

We are here to walk with you through your healing journey. 
​
Christ Centered Counseling - THE BALM OF GILEAD MINISTRIES

Narcissistic relationships often leave behind broken hearts, confusion, and deep wounds of betrayal. When you’ve been lied to, manipulated, or controlled, it can feel like the truth will never come to light. The person who hurt you may appear to go on with their life untouched, working hard to protect their image while you are left in pieces.
​
But the Word of God gives us an unshakable promise:
“For nothing is secret that will not be revealed, nor anything hidden that will not be known and come to light.”
—Luke 8:17

What people work so hard to hide, God promises to uncover. He is not fooled by masks or appearances. He sees through every façade, every manipulation, and every attempt to control the story.

God’s Truth brings healing when you’ve been deeply wounded, it’s natural to long for justice. Yet what heals the soul isn’t revenge but knowing that God Himself is the One who sees all and makes all things right. His light shines into darkness, exposing what is hidden, and in His perfect timing, He brings truth to the surface.

For those who have been harmed by someone who seems to care only about reputation and control, Luke 8:17 is a lifeline. It reminds us:
​

• Your pain is not invisible. God sees the wounds others may dismiss.
• Your worth is not destroyed. The manipulations of others do not define your identity.
• Your healing is certain. Jesus came to bind up the brokenhearted and set captives free (Isaiah 61:1).

God’s Justice and Mercy:

The sobering reality is that what is hidden in darkness will not stay hidden. For the one causing harm, that truth means accountability before God. For the one who has been harmed, that truth means comfort: your story matters, your tears are seen, and the Lord will bring clarity and justice in His time.

Walking toward Freedom:

Friend, you do not need to stay in the shadows of someone else’s manipulation. You do not have to carry the weight of their image-management or deception. Healing begins when we bring our own brokenness into the light of Christ, trusting Him to reveal truth, defend our cause, and restore what was shattered.

Jesus is the One who can take the very places of betrayal and turn them into testimonies of His faithfulness.

💙 If you’re struggling with the pain of broken trust or the confusion left behind by narcissistic relationships, we would love to walk with you on your healing journey. Reach out at thebalmofgilead.co. You don’t have to walk this road alone.

We often place silent expectations on the people around us—hoping they’ll say what we would say, act how we would act, or make choices that line up with our way of thinking. But here’s the truth: God didn’t design us as copies of one another. He created each of us uniquely, with different personalities, perspectives, and stories.

When we cling too tightly to our expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We become frustrated when others don’t think or feel the way we do. And that frustration can slowly harden into resentment—toward people, toward life, and even toward God.

But when we release those expectations, something incredible happens:

💔 Disappointment loses its power.
💙 Christ’s love has room to flow.

Instead of measuring others by what we think they should say or do, we learn to appreciate them for who they are. Their responses, even when different from ours, tell a story of their journey. Their perspective can bless us in ways we never would have expected—if only we stop demanding that they be more like us.

It is exhausting to be around someone who makes you feel like you’re always falling short. But it is life-giving to be around someone who accepts you as you are, encourages you as you grow, and points you back to Christ. We all long for that kind of grace-filled presence. And as followers of Jesus, we are called to be that for others.

The apostle Paul reminds us:
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” — Romans 15:7

Acceptance does not mean agreeing with everything someone does. It means making space for them as a person, offering dignity, and choosing love over judgment. When we accept others in this way, we reflect Christ’s heart—a heart that welcomes, embraces, and patiently transforms.

So today, choose to release your grip on expectations.
👉 Accept people where they are.
👉 Love them the way Jesus loves you.
👉 Walk in the freedom that comes when you no longer demand people to be like you.

When we stop expecting and start accepting, we step into a life marked by peace, grace, and joy. And in that space, Christ’s love flows freely—not just into us, but through us, into the lives of others.

✨ Need someone to walk alongside you in this journey?

At The Balm of Gilead Ministries, we’re here to help you process the hurts, disappointments, and relational struggles that weigh heavy on your heart. You don’t have to walk through it alone - reach out today, and let’s take the next step toward healing together.

Christ Centered Counseling - THE BALM OF GILEAD MINISTRIES
 
 

​Stop expecting people to be like you.
To respond like you.
To feel like you.
To handle life the way you would. 🌿
When we hold people to our own standards, we set ourselves up for disappointment. But when we release those expectations, we discover freedom—freedom to love others the way Jesus loves us. 💙

We are all uniquely created by God, wonderfully designed with different stories, strengths, and struggles. And that diversity is not a flaw—it’s His masterpiece. ✝️
It’s exhausting to be around someone who constantly expects you to be someone you’re not. But it’s life-giving to be around someone who accepts you, roots for you, and points you back to Jesus as you grow. Let’s be those people—the ones who reflect Christ’s acceptance and grace.

Remember: great expectations lead to great disappointments. But great love—Christ’s love flowing through us—leads to transformation, healing, and hope.
“Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” — Romans 15:7 🌸

​It’s not that my heart is closed, but trust takes longer now. My soul is weary from the pain of repeated wounds.

Many of us carry scars that make trusting again feel impossible. Broken promises, betrayal, or disappointment leave us cautious and guarded. The heart was created to love and connect, but when it’s been hurt again and again, it learns to protect itself. Maybe you feel like you can’t risk another break.

But here’s the hope: Jesus understands. He knows the sting of rejection, the pain of betrayal by those closest to Him, and the loneliness of carrying wounds that others don’t see. And still, He chose to open His heart fully for us.
His invitation remains:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18

Friend, healing trust doesn’t mean rushing or pretending the pain isn’t real. It means bringing our weary hearts to the One who can restore them. Slowly, gently, God teaches us that His love never fails, never betrays, never abandons.

If you feel too weary to take that step alone, you don’t have to. We’re here to walk with you, pray with you, and help you take the next step toward healing and hope in Christ. DM @thebalmofgilead or visit thebalmofgilead.co. You don’t have to carry this burden by yourself.
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Prayer: Lord, You see every wound and every tear. Teach us to trust again—not because people are perfect, but because You are faithful. Restore our hope and heal our broken places. Amen.